"We've Been to Seminars"

Valerie is still working on toilet training. At eleven , it is a work in progress for her. We have tried everything. We were almost there when the toilet we trained her on broke resulting in some major plumbing repairs that we are saving up to fix. We do have another bathroom, but with her autism it has been nearly impossible to get her to change to that one. At school she was fairly well trained and they wanted us to send her to school on the bus in uderwear. We refused, because it would mean a long bus ride without access to a bathroom. This would almost certainly result in an accident and an unhappy bus driver who would then have to clean it up.We told the teacher and the principal this to no avail. We had a meeting with them both and basically were told that they had had extensive training on teaching autistic children to use the toilet and kept repeating "We've been to seminars". The end result of all this was that the school won out and we had to start sending her to school in panties. However that was not the end off our troubles with them, as we were to find out.

We were not being heard. It seemed like everything Dan or I said to these professionals went in one ear and out the other. Our concerns were disregarded. They wanted us to stop using pull ups at home and have her wear underwear all the time. Our experience was that this would result in her having "accidents" frequently and ruin our carpets and furniture, which would then have to be replaced . We also explained that we had three other kids who should not have to live in a place that smells like urine. Our objections and concerns were dismissed. "That won't happen" they said. Well it did.